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I feel as though I’m lost between two worlds, each with something good and something bad.

I know very few practicing Christians these days, whereas I was surrounded by them in college.  I disagree with the Protestants on doctrine and the Catholics on lifestyle.

Most of the Catholics I know don’t submit (even in theory) to Church doctrine: they make asides that Natural Family Planning doesn’t work and that the proper solution is to use contraception.  They keep hoping for women priests.  They sleep around.  These are areas where the Church has spoken.  I’m not perfect, and I sin often, but I acknowledge that I’m the one who is wrong.  The few Catholics I know who do accept doctrine do other things that shock my Evangelical nature.  Cussing is common (growing up, “crap” and “friggin'” were out-of-bounds), and so are some statements that are very raw spoken in mixed company; indeed, in front of the speaker’s wife.  It’s not what I’m used to at all, and I’m not sure I’m in the wrong on this.  As for finding a girl to eventually settle down with, it doesn’t bode well for that at all.

My prior denomination had beautiful churches and a beautiful liturgy that was normally very reserved and traditional but could be easily adapted for a more modern style of worship.  Roman Catholicism is just odd to me; I just don’t understand the aesthetic.  I feel like a foreigner, and I’m resigned to the idea that this isn’t going to change.

What is there to do?  Where am I wrong, and where am I right?  Where can compromises be made and where need I stand firm at all costs?

I want to settle down with a girl who is serious and knowledgeable about her faith and with whom I’ve got good chemistry (and who is cute).  The chemistry part means that she’s smart, witty, and has a generally similar outlook on things as I do.  If that’s not in the cards, that’s okay, but I feel as though I can’t compromise past that.  I know several girls who meet that partially, but none who do completely.

Well, okay, I may know one, but she’s taken.

Lord, please grant me an increase in faith and in perseverance.  Please help me to daily die to you, to daily take up my cross, and to have the wisdom to see and the strength to make the sacrifice of a humble spirit and a contrite heart.  Please help me with great challenges, with daily struggles, and with incidental moments where I can either reflect your Glory or display ugliness.  Thank you for sending your Son to die for me and your Spirit to be with me.  Please don’t give up on me; I fall down a lot but I’m still trying to get up each time and make my way to You with Your help.

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One Comment

  1. its great, thanks


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